DEAR ABBY: I am a 15-year-old girl with a problem. For a couple of months, a close friend of mine, “Casey,” was going out with “Michael,” a boy from school. They broke up two months ago because Mike wanted to date other girls. Casey was crushed when it happened, although only a week later she was telling everyone (including Mike) that she was “over him.” I know it was a lie.
Casey has had major problems in the past — depression and an eating disorder. It’s obvious to me that she hasn’t gotten over Mike. In no way is he interested in Casey romantically, but she talks about him 24/7.
Abby, I don’t know what to do for Casey. I feel like yelling at her to get the message that Mike’s not interested. I’ve told her that she needs to let go, but it’s no use. What now? – WORRIED ABOUT MY FRIEND IN RHODE ISLAND
DEAR WORRIED: Casey needs some new activities and new interests so she can stop replaying those old tapes in her head. One way to help her forget about Mike would be to introduce her to some new friends. You could also suggest she get into some new activities so she’ll have something else to talk about.
DEAR ABBY: Over the holidays, my stepdaughter told her father and me that she is being married again and to save the second weekend in May. Shortly after, we received a formal invitation in the mail. About three weeks ago, my husband’s ex-wife called to give us a list of what she had spent on the wedding and to request “our share” of the cost – to the tune of $3,000.
This will be the second marriage for both the bride and groom, who are in their mid-30s. They live together in the home they own and have a successful business. By all accounts, they’re doing very well.
Since my husband and I are not part of the wedding party (he was not asked to walk his daughter down the aisle) and we had no part in the wedding plans, I feel that whatever “Mom” wishes to spend is up to her, but we owe nothing more than what we originally promised to give the newlyweds.
Are we off base here? – PUT OFF IN WINSTON-SALEM, N.C.
DEAR PUT OFF: Certainly not. Since this is a second wedding, and the bride and her fiance are well-established, and since you were not consulted or even asked to be a part of the ceremony, I see no reason why you should pay more than you have already promised.
DEAR ABBY: My fiance and I are both 50-plus. We are being married in four months — the second marriage for both of us. We have maintained separate households and we really need nothing.
How can we send invitations to family and friends and let them know that no household gifts are needed? Please help. – BRIDE-TO-BE IN PENNSYLVANIA
DEAR BRIDE-TO-BE: Add the following to your invitation: “No gifts, please. Your presence will be our cherished gift, and we respectfully request no other.”
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order “How to Have a Lovely Wedding.” Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby — Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447.
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