(FeatureSource) – Think it’s impossible to get your pre-schooler to become self-disciplined and learn good behavior without you tearing your hair out in the process? That’s not so according to Dr. Jerry Wyckoff and Barbara Unell, authors of the recently updated “Discipline Without Shouting or Spanking” (Meadowbrook Press).
The key is to be a disciplined parent, and learn to separate the child from the problem behavior. Here are six ways you can practice being a disciplined parent – and get your child to begin making his or her own choices towards good behavior.
•Decide on the specific behavior you would like to change, then focus on specific ways, rather than abstracts, to make this happen. Don’t just tell your child to be neat. Explain that you want the books picked up before she goes out to play.
•Praise your child’s behavior, not just the child. Since you want to manage what they’re doing, compliment the actions that lead to good behavior. Say things like, “It’s good when you sit quietly.”
•Continue the praise as long as the new behavior needs that support. This reminds your child of your expectations and reinforces your model of good behavior. It will motivate your child to continue positive actions.
•Try to avoid power struggles with your child. A good idea for getting a child to do something faster is to set a timer and challenge the child to complete the task before the bell rings. This transfers authority to a neutral object and can help eliminate the need for the child or the parent to be the “winner.”
•Be there. Children do need fairly constant supervision in the pre-school years. You don’t have to be with your child every minute of the day, but close attention will insure that behavior problems are promptly noticed and corrected.
•Avoid being a historian. Leave bad behavior in the past and don’t bring it up to remind children of failures. This may remind them what not to do, but it isn’t very helpful in showing them what they should be doing.
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