(Editor’s note: In last week’s Academic Advocate, Angelika wrote about the trials and tribulations of catching a train on time and making sure you’re in the right “wagon.” Her story continues here. . . )
A moment ago I was incredibly stressed out, and I was panicking, unsure of what I was going to do if I had, indeed, missed the stop. Instead of checking my watch and then my ticket first, I looked at my mood rings as though I needed some kind of confirmation on how, exactly, I was feeling. That’s crazy. Suddenly I start to think about my actions and my behavior when I am stressed out. I’m a perfectionist and always thought I handled things pretty well and in the right order. My mood ring-checking behavior might also give me a hint on how sharp my common sense is. How many people would react the way I did? Then I start thinking about how unique I might be… and what is normal? See what I started? I’ll never be able to stop my mind from racing. This is what happens when I panic. So I try to stay away from situations like these, but this year, such experiences are inevitable…
Ingemar, my science teacher, tells us we have class in room 301 on Wednesday, and I hope people write it down since I’m on my way out, I won’t be able to remember and I’ll show up at room 415 instead. No one does. Five minutes after class has begun we realize that room 415 was not where we were supposed to be. But did Ingemar say 301 or 306?? We race through the building with doors numbered through 300. We come only a little late, and we still get checked off as present.
One week I had written my name under the list of people who were supposed to visit the school nurse. I had forgotten to write down what time I was supposed to be there, and I was unsure, sitting in my math class one day, whether I should go now and be early (?) or would I be late then? This is proof that any stressing on my part can be blamed solely on . . . why don’t I write things down?
Oh sure, sometimes I write them down…on the back of my hand at night. Then I sleep on that hand and wake up with “Nurse, 14.30” imprinted on my cheek. After all of that, one would think I would remember when and where and what, but I don’t. I end up waiting until the end of the class and running to the building where the nurse and the guidance counselor sit all day. I’m late. In fact, I’ve missed my time completely. It’s 15.45 and my half-hour visit was scheduled for 15.00. Wait, today’s not Thursday… today’s Tuesday. Oh. Oh. OK. So my time is scheduled for Thursday, 15.00… so I breathe a sigh of relief and walk out of the building. Never once did I think of taking out my little assignment notebook and writing down my time. Hmm I see a pattern forming…
So I don’t think it’s Sweden and a new environment that is stressing me, it’s the way I’ve chosen, sub- consciously, to handle it. Or, how I don’t handle it. I realize it seems like I’m a slacker, but I’m still convinced that I’m not.
Do you have any tips or something that I can learn from? Or do you want to tell me what I should write about?
Contact:
Email: flickafrancaise@yahoo.com
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