Gay marriage is such a polarizing, emotional issue that reasoned discussion can be drowned out.

As it has been several times in its history, America is once again polarized by an issue of civil rights, with strongly held beliefs on both sides. The current argument, which threatens to decide the next presidential election, is the right of legal marriage for same-gender couples.

Undoubtedly, there are Americans on both sides of the controversy who will go to their graves believing their rightness without evaluating the issues involved. Meanwhile, millions of Americans struggle “to establish justice … and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity.” Each side presents its arguments so loudly, so convincingly, with God, Supreme Courts, tradition, laws, churches, ordinances all reportedly taking sides.

Reasoned discussion is difficult in the cacophony. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try. Here are some of the arguments often made against gay marriage.

“Gay marriage will destroy the institution of marriage.” How this will happen is not made clear. The fact is, any two people who seek to make a life commitment to each other and create a family of love, nurturing, and support do not destroy marriage. They sanctify marriage.

“Give them civil unions instead.” This suggestion was addressed by the Massachusetts Supreme Court: “The history of our nation has demonstrated that separate is seldom, if ever, equal.”

Further, creating a new, separate institution for gay couples would surely erode the fabric of marriage in this country when a special institution is created that allows easy, unencumbered entrance to, and exit from, the privileges and responsibilities of marriage for gays, but is denied heterosexuals. “Why can gays have special rights, and we can’t?” will echo throughout the land. We have heard it before. “No special rights” should be the response. Equality should be for everybody.

“‘One man, one woman’ has been a tradition throughout history.” So was slavery. For the most part of this country’s history, women could not vote. Within living memory, black people had to use different bathrooms, go to different schools and could not marry white people. Let us not overlook Native Americans, though history has. The fact is, our country’s history is sullied with many unfair traditions. The greatness of our country is not that we have been perfect, but that we work “to form a more perfect union.”

Undoubtedly, same-gender marriage is a shocking concept to many, just as many were horrified when interracial marriages became legal, or when the National Guard had to enforce integrated schools. Traditions are safe places, and change is difficult for many. Some traditions, however, should be ended, and bigotry is not safety.

“We must have a Constitutional Amendment.” This, like prohibition, is a radical aberration and an absurdity for many reasons, the first being the sanctity of the Constitution of the United States, inarguably the greatest document ever written by humankind. Its magnificence, smeared only once by an amendment limiting civil rights, Prohibition, should not be sullied again.

Quite simply, the Constitution exists to protect the rights of the minority from the tyranny of the majority.

A constitutional amendment is a rallying cry for those who would rather have a Constitution that supports discrimination. Our Constitution presently does not.

Second, in May, same gender couples will begin to legally marry. An amendment will take years, while thousands of gay couples marry. Is government-forced divorce then going to be the law of the land? A government that wished to preserve the sanctity of marriage imposes tyrannous breakup of legal families? The absurdity, not to mention legal disaster, boggles the mind.

“What will become of the family?” More people will marry. More families will be created, strengthening this country.

“Gay relationships don’t last.” Given the prejudices, discrimination and stigmas placed on gay relationships, it is surprising that any survive at all. The fact is, millions do in spite of the lack of societal support systems, which celebrate only heterosexual unions. In truth, even with all the social support, heterosexual marriage is not doing too well today, and the hypocrisy is rampant.

“I have strongly held, religious beliefs.” Many people do. Undoubtedly, gay marriage is unacceptable to many on religious grounds, and these beliefs absolutely must be respected. No religion could, would or should be forced to marry same-gender couples. Nevertheless, several religions already consecrate gay marriages. The sanctity of their religious beliefs is equally deserving of respect.

“This is a Christian country, founded on Christian beliefs.” This is not correct. Were it so, it would be a theocracy, like Afghanistan under the Taliban. George Washington was unequivocal in 1796: “The government of the United States is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion.” This country was founded on values shared by many faiths and philosophies. The republic

for which we stand is a democracy.

“Let the people vote on the issue.” Allowing the majority to decide who will be given or denied human rights is not democracy. It is tyranny. Period.

“What will become of the children?” The children of gay and lesbian couples will be raised by parents who wanted them from the beginning, parents who struggled against sometimes monumental odds to bring them into a family of love, caring, protection and support. Children of same-gender couples will be raised to believe that prejudice is wrong, and that all people are created equal with the same right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

Clearly, denying human rights is in direct opposition to the founding principles of this country. If we are to make honest decisions, the issues must be judged on reason and not emotional rhetoric, on sound thinking, not merely sound.

Our country’s strength is in the dignity and value of all people living in this one nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all – each and every one.

Lew Alessio has been a speaker for Maine SpeakOut for six years. SpeakOut addresses issues of discrimination and is a division of Community Counseling Center of Portland. He lives in Greene.

Copy the Story Link