DEAR ABBY: I moved away from my ex-boyfriend, “David,” seven months ago. Since then, our “perfect” relationship has changed drastically. He has been using horrible language toward me and saying he hates me. David also has said if I were near him, he would beat me. Now that I have told him it is over and have begun talking to someone else, he has decided he wants a second chance.
First, David begged me to go back to him. Then, when I refused, he threatened to ruin my life. He knows some things about me that are very confidential and has threatened to call my mom and tell her everything. He claims he loves me, but then he tells me he hates me.
I don’t understand. I have always treated David with respect and tried to be a good girlfriend. But I can’t do it anymore, and I’m afraid of how things will turn out. I can’t take David harassing me. I don’t know if I am in danger or if this is something to worry about. – SCARED IN SOUTH CAROLINA
DEAR SCARED: People who love each other do not treat each other the way you are being treated. Your ex-boyfriend has become obsessed, and is trying to force you to capitulate through intimidation and blackmail. Tell him once more that it is over and you want him out of your life. Then screen your calls, block his e-mails, and if he approaches you, tell him that if he persists, you will inform the police. And if you must, get a step ahead of him and tell your mother what he’s holding over you. It may not be your proudest moment, but it will loosen his hold over you.
P.S. Under no circumstances should you reconcile with him. This is just a taste of what you’ll get if you do. If the harassment continues, go to the police and file a report.
DEAR ABBY: I have always been an animal lover. I have had a peek-a-poo, “Flopsy,” for 12 years. She’s the last of my pets, and loves me as much as I love her.
Flopsy was hit by a car, and her hip was fractured. Now I must confine her to our house until she’s well. My fiance, “Lenny,” complains I have spent too much money at the vet on her. Lenny says he can put a 20-cent bullet in her and solve the problem.
Of course, I would never permit it, nor will I do anything like that. Flopsy doesn’t bother him. She always stays in the same room as me no matter where I go. I have no demanding chores in my life, so I don’t see the harm.
Do you think I should put her out of her misery? Am I being selfish? – ANIMAL LOVER IN GEORGIA
DEAR ANIMAL LOVER: You’re asking me something that should be discussed with Flopsy’s veterinarian. If, at her age, she can regain her health and mobility and frolic again, I see no reason to euthanize her. If she can’t, then it might be the kind thing to do.
Something else in your letter concerns me, however. The relationship you have with Flopsy apparently does “bother” your fiance. I suspect that he resents the love you have for her and the time and attention you lavish on her. To have suggested “putting a bullet in her” shows he has a cruel streak. If you are wise, you will think long and hard before marrying someone like that.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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