Rationally, we can all probably accept a couple of things:
First, people will make mistakes.
Second, they will make more small ones than large ones.
Agreed?
Then why are so many people so surprised and outraged when people make small driving mistakes?
We’re not talking about running red lights, sideswiping other vehicles or driving under the influence.
Rather, these are the inconsequential misjudgments people make that force others to slow down a bit or navigate around them. Or, God forbid, they actually drive the speed limit.
It is remarkable how such small offenses can elicit such out-sized responses from other drivers. Not all drivers, of course, but enough.
Some have suggested this results from an actual mental illness called explosive personality disorder, which may affect as much as 6 percent of the population, more often men than women.
It is an impulse control disorder, according to the website mdguidelines.com, which can result in destructive actions toward individuals or property.
These people usually have a history of such behavior, anger out of proportion to any precipitating threat or offense.
An estimated 1,300 road rage incidents a year result in arrest, some ending in assaults and even roadside slayings.
Fortunately, most day-to-day highway conflicts end in nothing more than an exchange of obscene language and gestures.
But it’s still shocking to see how little it takes to set off otherwise normal people.
Two psychologists, Dr. Leon James and Dr. Diane Nahl, have written a book, “Road Rage and Aggressive Driving: Steering Clear of Highway Warfare,” and they maintain a website dedicated to the subject.
According to James, most ordinary road rage can be attributed to “more congestion, more stress in people’s lives, chronic rushing, more disrespect.”
James has an interesting theory that we could reduce a lot of the stress by developing a different driving style.
He says there are three driving styles, based upon our emotional intelligence level. which is basically our skill at successfully managing our emotions.
On the lowest level are drivers who allow their emotions to “do the driving” and have an “oppositional style” of driving. They are most likely to feel outraged by small events and express their outrage in aggression.
Next are the people who have been trained as defensive drivers. They are constantly tense and always on the lookout for danger, often responding emotionally when they feel threatened.
We are probably familiar with both types of drivers.
The “zenith” of driving skill, he says, is “supportive driving.”
That means realizing we are all trying to go someplace and we help each other get there as safely and smoothly as possible.
It means slowing down to let other drivers merge with traffic rather than racing them. It involves driving to allow for the possible shortcomings of other drivers, particularly the young and elderly.
“When driving supportively you act tolerantly, you are forgiving, and you are helpful,” he writes.
Have you reached this level yet? James asks on his site?
There would probably be a lot less stress and rage if more of us did.
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