Princess Albert in the can
Bangor police went to the home of a drunken teenager to tell her to quit dialing 911 over and over with no actual complaint. Seventeen times the girl had called. And after police left, she called two more times. Police went back to her house, arrested her and seized her cell phone. When asked why she’d done it, the girl explained that she thought it was funny. Which just goes to demonstrate the sorry state of comedy among young people. Calling 911 and hanging up isn’t funny. Now, calling a stranger to complain that their cat is in your garage, that’s funny. You don’t even have a cat!
Express yourself!
A State Police trooper stopped a car on the Interstate in Newport last week after several other motorists had reported the driver was all over the road. When the cop got the driver pulled over, he discovered the reason for her erratic driving: She was pumping breast milk into a container.
Stick it
In Portland, police bagged a woman for driving with a fake inspection sticker – a Post-It note she had slapped on her windshield. Unfortunately, it was the wrong size. If only there was a way she could have left herself a note as a reminder of how to properly prepare an authentic-looking sticker.
Getting dumped
In Lewiston, a construction site was vandalized and a Port-a-Potty pushed into an eight-foot hole. For five dollars, I’ll let you post your joke here.
To the girl beneath the Veteran’s Bridge
I think your dog loves me. If he didn’t love me, why would he chase me down the trail at 30 mph with jaws grinding and teeth gnashing? That’s how the people in my life show affection.
Bully!
Spotted a stout, bald, shirtless man strutting up Pine Street in Lewiston and I believe he was stroking a handlebar mustache. There’s no question where this fellow was going: to ride a bike with a comically oversized front tire or to lift massive, round weights on the sidewalk.
Too hot for Sesame Street
Katy Perry, that is. Apparently, when she performed her little number, Oscar stopped being grouchy and Big Bird disappeared altogether for a while.
I knew I was getting old when
Maybe it’s the time your cousin had no idea who Punky Brewster was or knew Schwarzenegger only as a governor. Maybe it happened the moment your niece was surprised that solitaire could be played with cards instead of on the computer. Perhaps it was the look of confusion caused by a rotary telephone. Whatever. Whether you’re 20 or 90, we want to hear how and when you first discovered that you were getting old. Send your responses to bmail@sunjournal.com or mlaflamme@sunjournal.com and do it quick. We know you tend to forget things.
Send questions/comments to the editors.
