At 88, Bag Lady and Shopping Siren hope to be one-third as scintillating as Betty White.

We are, immodestly, a fifth as scintillating now.

There’s plenty of room to aspire.

We adored White long before that hilarious Snickers commercial, before her priceless Saturday Night Live appearance, before she groped Sandra Bullock on-screen and before she was named The Associated Press’ Entertainer of the Year for 2010. Just try watching an episode of “The Golden Girls” and not falling for her flaky Rose Nylund. We dare you.

So in her honor, we proclaim this Betty White day!

Yes, we have that power.

* Betty White wall calendar by CC Workman Publishing, Day By Day Calendar (Auburn Mall), $6.50

Monthly photos showcase White in her modeling days, her appearances on “The Tonight Show” and “The Mary Tyler Moore Show,” and random shots of her being totally awesome. (For November the soon-to-be-89-year-old carries a giant boom box on her shoulder and flashes a peace sign. Need we say more?) According to a little tag in the corner, her calendar royalties will go to support the Morris Animal Foundation. Cool, funny and compassionate. Is there any doubt why we love her? 

* The Office desk calendar, Day By Day Calendar, $7

We think Dunder Mifflin needs a new saleswoman. Ooh! Or a second human resources supervisor. Ooh, ooh, ohh! Or a twinkly-eyed 88-year-old intern. Hey, if a Facebook campaign can get White on Saturday Night Live, we think a Bliss petition should get her on The Office. In the meantime, count the days with this super funny calendar. 

* South Park: The Totally Sweet DVD Trivia Game, Go! Toys & Games (Auburn Mall), $19.99

The game is for the 18-and-over set, like, occasionally, White’s humor. How has she not guest-voiced on this show yet?

* Classic Password board game by Endless Games, Go! Toys & Games, $11.89

White may be known now for “The Golden Girls,” “Hot in Cleveland” and her SNL appearance, but in the 1960s and ’70s she was a favorite guest celebrity on the game show “Password.” Re-live those days with your own Password event. (Bit of trivia: White married the show’s host, Allen Lunden. According to About.com, the two fell in love while performing in the play Critic’s Choice at the Lakewood Theatre in Skowhegan. It’s six degrees of separation, Betty White-style!)

* “Happy Hamster” by Mathijs Van Der Paauw, Waldenbooks, $9.95

White is a huge animal lover, so we decided to book shop for homages and immediately stumbled on “Happy Hamster.” This devoted pet owner filled a book with recipes like Apple Sushi and Veggie Hot Dogs. For his hamster. If that’s not something an animal lover would love, we don’t know what is.

* “The Mary Tyler Moore Show” DVD, 24 episodes, Walmart, $13

Another DVD slot tantalizingly labeled “Betty White FF” was empty. We also discovered that all “The Golden Girls” box sets were out of stock on the Walmart website. So if you need a Betty White fix, you might want to snatch up this DVD now.

* Sarah Lee New York-Style Cheesecake, 30 oz., Walmart, $6.17

Remember how many episodes of the “The Golden Girls” ended with them eating cheesecake at the table?

Mmm.

We’re taking a page from that book. And pulling up a plate. Cheesecake: the perfect end to any day.

* Lingerie Solutions long lace bandeau, Walmart, $10

Cream or black with sequins, red lace, black white leopard. “Fun, trendy and meant to be seen,” the label said. Just like White.

Best find: Snickers candy bar, Walmart, 50 cents

The candy that started it all. Or started the resurgence of it all. Or capitalized on a comeback already in full swing. We’re not really sure. But we like White and we like Snickers, so there’s really no bad here.

Think twice: Simply Basic full figure sleepwear, Walmart, $20

The tag calls it a “long zip robe.” We’re bold enough to call a muumuu a muumuu. The only thing scintillating to ever happen in a muumuu … there’s no use. We can’t even finish the sentence.

Bag Lady and Shopping Siren’s true identities are protected by a pair of stylish, sweater-wearing Doberman pinschers (who aren’t sure about Veggie Hot Dogs but will sportingly give them a go) and the Customer Service counter at the Sun Journal. You can reach them at baglady@sunjournal.com and shoppingsiren@sunjournal.com

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