Six years, hundreds of columns, and it was the largest place we’ve never shopped.
Mainly, Bag Lady thought it was impossible to get into BJ’s Wholesale Club without being a member, that its inside would stay forever hidden barring some sort of elaborate ruse.
Ta-da!
Turns out, the friendly person stationed at the front door won’t shake you down for a membership card if you’re just in the mood for a look-see. (At Bag Lady’s other wholesale club experience, Sam’s, members had to flash cards at the door, so I’m sure that’s where I got that notion. Poor BJ’s. Can’t imagine I’m the only one laboring under that misconception.) To not just look but to buy, there is a membership fee, $50 according to its website, but some local workplaces offer a discount, so check at work first. One of the card-carrying perks: occasional packs of special coupons by mail.
There’s also a one-day, printable nonmember pass on BJ’s website for a day of shopping with a 15 percent surcharge (the surcharge can go toward a membership if activated within a week).
But enough preamble. What’s to be found inside?
Tables, vitamins, wine, beef, TVs, jewelry, tires and barbecue sauce. Dog food, pencils, contact lenses, diapers, rugs, video games and cake.
I could go on. I will. Grab an oversized cart and let’s glide.
* Nutella, 26.5 oz., $4.79
We recently experimented with Nutella in the Bag house, by which I mean we caved after seeing years of commercials. I dug it. (Hello? Spreadable chocolate!)
* Moe’s chicken empanadas, 40 pieces, $9.99
Chicken, jalapeno and cheese sealed in a flaky pastry. I just met my next bring-something-to-the-party hors d’oeuvre. FYI, Moe’s is a restaurant chain that comes as close as Massachusetts.
Pair with:
* Moe’s five-layer dip, 36 oz., $5.99
Add tortilla chips. Devour. Wipe corners of mouth after.
* Finish dishwasher detergent tabs, 90 count, $14.99
After the sweet member’s-only buy-one-get-one-free coupon, that’s a whole lot of hands-free washing.
* Wellsley Farms Decadent Brownie Platter, $5.99
Inch-thick brownies drizzled with icing. This bad boy greets visitors right inside the front door. Well played, BJ’s.
* Bounty Extra Soft, 12 “mega rolls,” $18.99
In Bounty math, 12 mega rolls equals 20 regular rolls. In Bounty math, I also might be a size 4. Yeah, we’ll go with that.
* Greased Lightning, 2.5 gallons, $14.99
Meet a man with this much degreaser on his shelf, some women might ask questions. I would only say, “Come here, you formerly slippery devil.”
* Sirloin tip steak, $3.99/pound
At the risk of revealing too much, Bag Lady loves a good kabob. Dice these steaks up and they’re kabob-tastic. In other meat news, bulk 90 percent lean hamburger was $2.89/pound. In related cow news, Land O’Lakes skim milk: $3.45 a gallon.
* Pop Secret movie theater butter, 30-pack, $9.99
A whole lotta popping going on.
* Pampers sensitive swaddlers, 150 count, $36.99
That’s 25 cents per change. Probably best not to think of all the money, er, not going down the drain.
* Vizio Via 55-inch, flat-screen 2-D/3-D TV, $1,499.90
Just one of the scads of TVs tempting with bright, aerodynamic newness.
Best find: Nostalgia Electric 800-watt microwave, $99.99
Darling baby blue and chrome with a way-back porthole door. Sort of the look of an old-fashioned radio except — voila! — a raw potato goes in, a baked potato comes out.
Think twice: Diamond belt buckle ring 0.18 CTTW, sterling silver/14K gold, $199.99
BJ’s jewelry kiosk works with a fill-out-this-sheet-of-paper ordering system that reminded me of Service Merchandise, right down to the little golf pencils. While I did enjoy the reminiscing — remember Service Merchandise? Seems like so many wrinkles ago — Bag Lady couldn’t see the joy of a belt-buckle-cum-ring-bling. Is tacky the word I’m looking for? Garish? No way to say I-love-you-honey? Best left unshopped.
Bag Lady’s true identity is protected by a pair of stylish, sweater-wearing Doberman pinschers (who, in Bounty math, are mere pups) and the Customer Service counter at the Sun Journal. You can reach them at baglady@sunjournal.com and shoppingsiren@sunjournal.com.
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- Retro-style microwave oven from Nostalgia Electrics.
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