The former Kate Middleton is bringing back sheer nylons.

Yes, that Kate. Wife of William. Future queen. Hose connoisseur.

We were tipped to the fact by a press release from a firm representing hosiery-maker Hanes, which pointed to a New York Magazine article that reads in part:

“(Sheer nude stockings) are starting to become trendy thanks to Kate and her panty hose-loving sister, Pippa. Whatever gene causes them to gravitate towards the sheer legwear is quickly evolving in celebrities as well.”

According to Hanes — super-tight with the royals, as we’ve long suspected — Kate leans toward nude-tone sheers, Pippa toward “barely there transparent sheers.”

Well, sheerly we in our little corner of Bliss can’t ignore such breaking news. So, this week, the hose has it.

* Hanes Silk Reflections silky sheer thigh highs, JCPenney, $8

Feel that chill in the air the other morning? That was fall, nipping at summer. Fall is nylon season. Clearly, that Kate is on to something.

* Assorted Worthington tights, JCPenney, $1.97 and up

These dominated a 50- to 70-percent-off rack. Black with subtle flower-pattern cutouts. With polka dots. With butterflies. Alas, butterflies have no knowing of subtle.

* Hanes Absolutely Ultra Sheer, JCPenney, $7

So these would perhaps be favored by panty-hose-loving sister Pippa? Any excuse to write that again.

* Leg Impressions footless tights, Goodwill, $2.98

In neon yellow or neon orange and less look-at-me gray, brown or black. In one-size-fits-most and queen. Your royal foot will peek out of the bottom of these, so peep these before the snow flies.

* Over-the-knee tube socks, Deb, $5.99

White with black top stripes, these merit an honorary mention among all this hose chatter. Mainly, I’ve seen these on TV, on skinny reality-show girls, and wondered, Where do you even buy those? You buy them at Deb. Case closed.

* Non-slip nylon toe covers, two pairs, The Shoe Dept., $3.99

Another honorary mention, mainly because Bag Lady needed a pair of these the other day and had no clue where to start looking. The answer? Here. Another case closed. Answering all of life’s mysteries today.

Best find: Velan Silken Sheers hose, The Shoe Dept., $2.99/3-for-$5

The samples felt silky smooth and shades included sometimes-hard-to-find “bone,” code for so pale that white looks funny and tan looks atrocious. Not that Bag Lady knows a thing about it.

Think twice: Worthington jean-look legging, JCPenney, $8.99

Stone-washed tights with faux jean seams. Who is slipping these into their cart, or worse, onto their gams? Not fair Kate.

To tuft or not to tuft

The same colleague who alerted us to the Hanes press release got another PR note this week, a 1,200-word tome about the trend of tufting in furniture. We’re not sure what sort of list he got himself on.

R.I.P. Auburn Mall Hot Topic

Where am I going to buy my ironic T-shirts, sweatshirts, messenger bags, patches and wristbands? (Holds head in hand.)

Bag Lady’s true identity is protected by a pair of stylish, sweater-wearing Doberman pinschers (who believe bones need no code) and the Customer Service counter at the Sun Journal. You can reach her at baglady@sunjournal.com.

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