Homemade needham ice cream. Tomato jelly. Bags of $10 mystery dirt.

As if we could pass by Smedberg’s Crystal Spring Farm on Route 26 without stopping. (Do note the “homemade” and “ice cream.”) To call it a permanent farm stand on Route 26 doesn’t do it justice. It’s more ice cream stand meets wholesome farm goods meets flowering plants meets countryware.

Also, there’s a very cool, surprisingly comfortable, bench out front made completely of skis and ski poles. How many places can you say that about?

It’s week two of Oxford Road Trip II: The Return, and we’re ready to eat.

And shop. Always, shop.

* One Cow ice cream, $1.85 small cone, $4.50 pint

Their cow-figure-flanked stand offers traditional chocolate and vanilla, along with more unusual flavors like ginger and needham. (Shopping Siren grabbed a small needham on a sugar cone, so she can personally attest to its chocolate chip and coconut awesomeness.) The teenager behind the counter didn’t know why the place was called One Cow, but we picture Bessy, lone bovine, in the backyard working her tail off to produce all of the milk for the ice cream. And if that’s the case, we really think they should get her an assistant.

* Sirloin tips, $6.59/lb

Mmm, kabobable.

We have such a complicated relationship with cows, what with enjoying the fruits of their labor and then eating them. Fine, they’re technically different cows, milk and beef, but still. Um. Yeah. Enjoy!

* Mike’s Maine Pickles, various prices

Sure, Mike’s offers pickled eggs. (We’re not fans, but we understand they do exist.) And Mike’s has garlic and salt pickles. (Never tried. Probably good.) But pickled fiddleheads? The weed-like things we wouldn’t even eat battered in Oreos and fried in butter? He’s got those, too. And at $6.29 for a 16-ounce jar, they can be yours. You have fun with that. We’ll be over here ordering another cone of needham ice cream.

* Kountry Kettle preserves, 16 oz., $5.99

So many flavors, so many breakfast possibilities. Or eating-it-straight-out-of-the-jar-at-midnight possibilities. We are not ashamed.

* Vita Coco 100 percent pure coconut water, 17 oz., $2.79

Go all “Gilligan’s Island” on your beverage without breaking a nail. Those husks always look so tough.

* Bag of dirt, $10

Yes, it’s dirt but it’s not just any dirt. That would be silly. This earth is potentially laden with Maine gems and minerals. Presumably, digmainegems.com (possibly affiliated with Smedberg’s and open behind the ice cream stand) will let you use one of its screens to filter your dirt/maybe-loot. Otherwise, we suggest you dump it into your neighbor’s kids’ sandbox and tell them you’ll give a quarter to whomever finds the prettiest rock. Hey, they’re like 4 years old. They work cheap at that age.

* Solemates socks, $14.99

Super soft and vibrant. According to the packaging, they’re made of recycled cotton and “mismatched with care from Vermont.” The pair Bag Lady picked up didn’t appear to be mismatched at all, which felt oddly unsatisfying. Pink check and green argyle, please.

* Pot Stickers, $7.99

Pretty metal flowers with glow-in-the-dark glass bead centers. Generally speaking, we think more things ought to glow in the dark.

Best find: Corn, 59 cents each or $6/dozen

It’s August and this is farm stand corn. Go.

Think twice: Smedberg’s tomato preserves, 10 oz., $3.89

Hey, we love tomatoes as much as the next person. We also love preserves, probably slightly more than the next person (see midnight binge, above). But tomato preserves? Made with sugar and everything? It’s unfathomable. And, man, we’re normally very good at fathoming. So we’ll skip the tomato preserves, thanks, and leave with our baskets filled with ice cream and potential pay dirt.

If we’re not back next week, you’ll know we struck it big. Or, that we got stomachaches from too many frozen treats. Here’s to hoping.

* Prices as of 8/17

Bag Lady and Shopping Siren’s true identities are protected by a pair of stylish, sweater-wearing Doberman pinschers (who are happy to make each of those socks unique for you) and the Customer Service counter at the Sun Journal. You can reach them at baglady@sunjournal.com and shoppingsiren@sunjournal.com.

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