We’re sure you already knew this, but in case you need a reminder: Bethel was meant for Bliss.
If shopping, entertainment and foraging moose weren’t enough — and they completely are — this week we learned that a visit to the little hamlet will save on our copious peanut butter bill.
You see why we had to return to Bethel and greater Bethel for a second week of virtual road tripping. There’s just too much to do, too much to buy, too much bliss to confine it to only one week.
So we’re back. Virtually. Like, online.
Smack, smack, smack. Taste that? It’s Bethel.
* Poker table with standard base, Rustics Log and Country Furniture, $2,399
Like something the Flintstones would have used — carved, a bit gnarled, the opposite of Ikea. When we win the lottery and build rustic-but-large-and-modern cabins by the lake, this is our first purchase. We’ll probably lose the rest of our lottery money playing poker at said table. It’s the circle of life.
* Party package, Big Adventure Center, $10-$20/per person
Packages let you choose from rock climbing, mini golf, laser tag and water slides. Bag Lady would take water slides and laser tag. (BL’s patience for mini golf has diminished as she’s aged; direct correlation to her lousiness at it.) Shopping Siren would choose laser tag and rock climbing. (She’s not a fan of heights and water. Heights and rocks, apparently, are a different story.)
* Kilt packages, Linda Clifford Scottish and Irish Merchant, $750 and up
Your one-stop shop for custom kilts and kilt accessories. Although you can order just the kilt (for men or women), we suggest going full-kilt. Er, tilt. With a full-kilt package. The economy package includes a four-yard casual kilt (a good starter kilt, the site says) a leather belt, chrome Celtic buckle, kilt hose, pin and a leather sporran — which looks and works a lot like a little purse because, as the site reminds us, “a kilt does not have pockets.”
* Sunday River Scenic Wildlife Tours, Sunday and Wednesday evenings, $30 adults/$20 kids (ages 6-12)
See a moose! Probably! They boast a 98 percent sighting rate.
* Antler lamp, Mason Antler Designs, $160
The family that runs Mason Antler Designs uses dropped antlers to create sometimes whimsical, always interesting home decor. And dog chews. (Really.) We were particularly intrigued by an antler lamp (shade not included) that looks like it’s about to run away.
Best find: Perfect Spreaders, set of three, Timberlake’s Home Store, $14.95
Pretty maple sticks rubbed in mineral oil and beeswax, that have, according to the company website, a “trademark curve, squared and bevelled end … (that) will reach every corner of your specialty food jar.”
Say they save 25 cents of peanut butter from each jar? The sticks pay for themselves in 60 jars. So for us, within a month.
Like we said, copious.
Think twice: About challenging either Bag Lady or Shopping Siren to a game of laser tag. We don’t want to make you weep.
Follow-up: Over the past year we’ve written about both the zombie apocalypse and Hugh Hefner’s high-profile split with Crystal Harris, a Playmate 60 years his junior. In separate columns, of course. We’re pretty sure zombies aren’t responsible for Hef’s split.
This week we are pleased to offer this update: There is no zombie apocalypse. That’s directly from the Centers for Disease Control in response to a recent spate of cannibalism incidents.
We are also pleased to announce that Hef and Harris are back together again. Way to go, kids. It really is true love! Or something.
The timing is unrelated. Probably.
Bag Lady and Shopping Siren’s true identities are protected by a pair of stylish, sweater-wearing Doberman pinschers (who demand antler chews. Also, cookies) and the Customer Service counter at the Sun Journal. You can reach them at baglady@sunjournal.com and shoppingsiren@sunjournal.com.
Send questions/comments to the editors.
