At least two weeks ago now, someone abandoned a cat-butt mug in one of our office sinks.
Yeah. A cat-butt mug.
One side of the coffee cup is all friendly feline faces, the other side, raised tails and rears. The reasons for its abandonment are obvious. Well, moderately obvious. Bag Lady is only guessing that the mug’s owner quit out of embarrassment. Shopping Siren believes the mug might have caused a nervous breakdown, what with the daily, haunting decision to face the rear ends or go without a cup of joe.
In case the mug’s owner is still around and just sneaky about revealing ownership, BL has been involved in a covert, two-week sink stakeout. To no avail.
Which only begs questions.
Was the mug a gift? Was it a gag? Was there no other vessel in which to cradle coffee?
Were they drinking in chagrin, four fingers desperately wrapped around the artwork? Or did they think it was funny? Like, “Ha, ha, ha, butts.”
We may never know. Um. Unless its owner reads this. In which case, Hi! Love your shoes.
In the meantime, we shop for coffee cups.
Because there’s got to be something better than tush on your lips.
* Cream and gold mug, Salvation Army, 99 cents
Large mug with gold flourishes along the edge. Pretty, classic and, yes, some may say boring. But there’s not a behind in sight.
* Blue square-edged mug, Goodwill, $1.99
According to the label, this cup is microwave safe, dishwasher safe, freezer safe and oven safe. So. Pretty darn safe. We’re not sure who’s sticking their coffee mugs in the oven (or why), but carry on.
* Grandpa in Vegas mug, Goodwill, 99 cents
Splashy Las Vegas scene with “Grandpa” emblazoned along the edge. Buy for the gambling grandfather in your life, or use yourself and make people wonder what the heck you did in Vegas that stayed in Vegas.
* Watertown Daily Times newspaper-print mug, Goodwill, 99 cents
It has a newspaper on it, so it’s cool. It’s also cream-colored and distinguished — like a newspaper. It, though, does not contain comics or the occasional picture of actor Ryan Reynolds. Winner: Newspapers.
* Blue glazed pottery mug, Salvation Army, $1.29
The look says Boothbay Harbor; the price says less than a Starbucks venti.
* Tin cup, Goodwill, 99 cents
Small, blue and, um, tin. Perfect for camping or for scraping across jail bars as you holler for the warden to let you out. Either one. No butts about it.
* Rainbow-colored mug, Dollar Tree, $1
A coffee cup guaranteed to brighten your day or your money back.*
(* No money will actually be given back. But we’re pretty sure about the brightening bit.)
* Giant Donald Duck mug, Goodwill, 99 cents
You remember Donald Duck, right? Good. So you’re probably old enough to handle all the caffeine this can carry.
* Plain white mug, Dollar Tree, $1
Oversized, its blankness screams mystery. This cup does not root for a sports team, does not brag of travels and does not even suggest you might break for moose/cats/doughnuts. You are an enigma. Sip away.
Best find: Puppy mug, Goodwill, 99 cents
White mug with a red interior and, on the outside, a red silhouette of a puppy. Adorable! Fun! Animal-themed! Proof all that can be yours (and coffee too) without the rumps.
Think twice: Well, we’ll look no further than up certain cat butts. Although, to be sure, the sink-watching vigil continues.
Bag Lady and Shopping Siren’s true identities are protected by a pair of stylish, sweater-wearing Doberman pinschers (who mug it up for cameras) and the Customer Service counter at the Sun Journal. You can reach them at baglady@sunjournal.com and shoppingsiren@sunjournal.com.
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