They cavort and canoodle and subsist on marshmallows and brie.
And somewhere a literary agent has written in red ink and capital letters across the first page:
“NEEDS MORE SHARK.”
And that is pretty much how we feel about a lot of things.
There’s been no better time to be on the shark bandwagon. We refer, of course, to the recent blockbuster success of “Sharknado!” Also:
1) It’s Shark Week on TV.
2) There was a possible Great White sighting off Boothbay Harbor last week.
3) “Sharknado 2” is going to happen. (Because it needs to.)
Trends happen in threes! And here we already have four! So, it’s official. Sharks are cool.
Unless you’re being torn to shreds; then, of course, less cool.
Maybe it’s the creep factor. Maybe it’s sharks’ sheer size. Maybe it’s the fact they have their own theme music.*
* Yes. It is probably the theme music. Duuuu-nnuunn.
But whatever the reason for our fascination, whether they’re blowing in on a cloud funnel, emerging all foul mood and bitey from the waves or adorning a new favorite T-shirt, sharks are here to stay.
At least, we’re not going to be the ones to tell them to go away.
* Poolmaster shark-frame goggles, Rick’s Swimming Pools, $1.99
For keeping chum out of your eyes when you’re swimming with the fishes.
It was our first time in the outer Sabattus Street store and we were dazzled by the floats and fun accessories. A pool party must. (Also, ask about their rubber ducky selection. Go on. We dare you.)
* Gone Fishin’ magnetic game, Claire’s, $2.75
Sure, this game is made for kids, but it’s also very work-desktop friendly. Three poles, eight fish. You get to be the shark.
* Whale change purse, Claire’s, $4.75
Blue silicone change purse in the shape of a delightful puffy whale. Hey, not everything has to be about sharks. No matter what the sharks tell you.
* “Sharkpedia” by DK books, BAM!, $12.99
Includes a free poster. We’re guessing it’s of … a shark.
* “Shark Attack!” book from DK Readers, BAM!, $3.99
Filled with fun factoids and anecdotes, like the story of the fellow who built the world’s first shark cage. In related news: It also shows pictures of his many, many scars.
The book is targeted for level 3 “reading alone” readers. However, if your 8-year-old reads this book alone, be prepared for a kid who will no longer go in the ocean alone. Duuuu-nnuunn.
* Shark Fact Cards, BAM!, $9.99
“Hundreds of amazing facts” in a flash-card format. Pack for car rides to the beach! Or maybe not. (See aforementioned 8-year-old.)
* “Paws” ladies muscle tee by Riot Society, various sizes, PacSun, $22.95
Features a sharp-toothed cat rising out of the water to attack a mouse, with “Paws” emblazoned above it. A charming take on the iconic “Jaws” movie poster. Though it does make Shopping Siren look at her kitties with a little trepidation.
(Also at PacSun, we saw a rack of honest-to-god belly shirts. The trepidation tripled.)
* Shark bank, Target, $12.99
Ceramic and rising, open-mouthed, out of the water. It leaped out during a quick errand at the Target in Augusta this past weekend. When you want to see sharks, everything is a shark.
Best find: Floating light-up shark toy, Rick’s Swimming Pools, $4.99
About the size of a rubber ducky, this little light-up shark-in-sunglasses is the perfect floating accoutrement for your pool or bathtub. Just maybe warn visitors it’s there. The cute little plastic shark isn’t likely to scare anyone over age 2, but an eerie glowing orb moving inexorably toward you as you clutch a pool float, frozen in terror, in the deep end? Less cute.
Think twice: Costco umbrella shark stroller, Target, $24.99
With a little fin on top, short jagged teeth around the rim and red under the hood. It could have been adorable with more cartoon attitude and fewer pointy teeth. Instead, it’s, “Wow, I think someone spent money on that. Darling, please pass the brie.”
Bag Lady and Shopping Siren’s true identities are protected by a pair of stylish, sweater-wearing Doberman pinschers (who would wear fake shark fins to scare/delight people at the lake) and the Customer Service counter at the Sun Journal. You can reach them at baglady@sunjournal.com and shoppingsiren@sunjournal.com..
-
- The Circo Shark Bank found at Target.
Send questions/comments to the editors.
