Now that the issue behind Question 1 has been settled — a majority of Maine voters believe that doughnuts are the best way to protect themselves from bears — I suggest taking the process a step further. Why not craft legislation that would require all doughnuts produced in Maine be used to feed bears. That would have some obvious benefits, such as:
— Jobs would be created delivering all those doughnuts;
— There would be extra tourist visits — visit Maine and see the Great Maine Wall of Doughnuts;
— The bear population would be controlled by bear obesity and cardiac disease — no traps needed;
— Obesity and cardiac disease among Maine residents would decrease, saving medical costs.
Once again, Maine could set a national example of creative bear management, living up to the state’s motto: “Dirigo.”
The only downside I can see would be the claims of abuse and torture by those people deprived of their doughnuts.
How silly. As the election proved, a majority of Mainers don’t mind a bit of abuse and torture of living creatures, as long as they believe it will make themselves safer.
Noel Smith, Auburn
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