Confession: Shopping Siren has never cooked a full Thanksgiving meal.

It’s not for lack of offering. Family members smile, pat me on the arm and say, “We’ve got it covered.” Friends start talking about previously unmentioned Thanksgiving Day trips to Antarctica.

I’m starting to get a complex.

But this year may be different. No one has yet balked at my culinary overtures. No one has suddenly planned a trip to the far ends of the Earth. That I know of.

Game on, Thanksgiving.

I’m ready to spend hours in the kitchen baking, roasting, whipping and simmering. Maybe days!

However, I’m also a fan of spending at least some of Thanksgiving away from the stove. And not poisoning my guests with undercooked turkey because I was too busy crafting the perfect dinner roll to pay attention to the fact it hadn’t quite thawed. That’s never happened. Just … thinking ahead.

Looking for your own Thanksgiving shortcut or two? You’re in luck! I’ve done the work for you.    

Sides

* Take & Bake dinner rolls, Shaw’s, $3.99

Pop in the oven at 400 degrees for about five minutes and you’ve got hot, fresh, homemade-like rolls just waiting to be devoured. And tons of time freed up to do your nails, get a little online holiday shopping done or pay attention to your turkey. Because it’s still frozen.   

* Ocean Spray cranberry sauce, 14 oz., Shaw’s, $1.50

In whole berry or jellied versions. Open, serve and stand clear of the stampede. Surveys show canned cranberry sauce is almost as popular as the turkey.**

** Surveys of Siren household only. Your experience may vary. But it probably won’t.

* Stove Top Stuffing, 4/$5, Shaw’s

Or you could go with Martha Stewart’s classic stuffing recipe, which calls for 11 ingredients, including homemade chicken stock. Because that’s what you want to be doing at 1 p.m. on Thanksgiving Day, cursing Martha Stewart.

* Butternut squash or mashed potatoes, 12 oz., Hannaford, $3.99

Premade side dishes found in the deli section. Heat and serve. If it gets any easier than that, it’s probably not actual food.

Main dish

* Urban Accents Gourmet Gobbler kit, Hannaford, $8.99

This brine and rub kit comes with a brining bag for turkeys up to 24 pounds, a spiced brine blend, and peppercorn and herb rub. For Thanksgiving chefs who lose sleep over the perfect brine. You know who you are.

* Hefty EZ Foil roasting pan with handles, Hannaford, $3.99

You still have to cook your turkey, yes, but now you won’t have to clean up. As much. Just dump this disposable pan in the trash and walk away whistling a merry tune. Perhaps the NFL theme song.

* Jennie-O frozen turkey burgers, 12-pack, Bourque’s Market, $10.99

For turkey without the TURKEY. You know what I mean.

* Smithfield Anytime boneless ham steak, Shaw’s, $3.99

Cooked ham steak perfect for the one or two dinner guests who aren’t turkey fans but also aren’t vegetarian. I hear they exist.  

* Heinz turkey gravy, 12 oz., Shaw’s, $1

Because the 90 percent of your dinner guests who are fans of turkey will also be fans of gravy.

Dessert

* Frozen cream pies, Bourque’s Market, $5.99

In chocolate, coconut or lemon meringue. Just make sure you thaw well ahead of time. If there’s any question, chocolate cream pie should not require a knife and fork.  

* Valley View Orchard fruit pies, Hannaford, $6.99 to $11.29

Fresh pies in 6-inch and 9-inch sizes. Why bake all day when you can just go straight to eating?

Best find: Premade Thanksgiving meals

Hannaford is offering a fully cooked dinner with turkey, mashed potatoes, squash, gravy, cranberry sauce, dinner rolls and a pie for $59.99. Shaw’s has a fully cooked dinner with turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, gravy, dinner rolls and pie for $49.99. Both serve six to eight people and reheat in two to three hours. Both stores also offer options for ham lovers. It’s Thanksgiving dinner without any of the Thanksgiving work! The ultimate shortcut.

Think twice: About waiting until the last minute

But if you do, Bourque’s will be open from 8 a.m. to 3 p.m. Thanksgiving Day. For all your boxed, canned and frozen needs. Or mac and cheese. You rebel.

Something to be thankful for

Bliss Thru Shopping won first place at the Maine Press Association awards last month. We couldn’t have done it without our fun, fabulous readers. Thank you!

Shopping Siren’s true identity is protected by a pair of stylish, sweater-wearing Doberman pinschers (who try valiantly to catch the wild turkeys who wander through their yard) and the Customer Service counter at the Sun Journal. You can reach her at shoppingsiren@sunjournal.com.

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