Coming out of my shell
Some of you may have noticed that I haven’t been the same since I wandered onto the flats at Wolfe’s Neck last weekend. The man who went into that mud last Sunday isn’t the same man who came back. Clamming changes a man, man. It makes him harder. Colder. Stinkier. No, seriously, have you ever smelled the mud in a clam flat? Makes me nostalgic for the draining of the Lewiston canals.
Ooooh . . .
When IS the draining of the canals this year? They really should advertise it more; bill it as a summertime event. Maybe they could time it to coincide with the Balloon Festival. According to my charts, about the only thing that hasn’t emerged from the muddy canal bottom is a hot-air balloon. This could be our year!
Itsy bitsy
On May 28, around noon, a local woman crashed her car in the Y intersection at Irwin and Cassell streets. The report reads: “Vehicle operator advised that she was startled by a spider and went off the road, striking several small bushes as well as a small piece of PVC pipe.” Miss Muffet was not injured in the crash. I have stated in the past that I’d rather drive into a lake or in front of a speeding train than let some multi-legged creature land upon me whilst behind the wheel.
I hate to say I told you so . . .
Who am I kidding? I love saying that. This time, I refer you to the fact that it rained every day so far that Smokey’s Greater Shows has been in town. It’s like clockwork! The carnies and hawkers roll in, the skies open up. You can plan your garden around Smokey’s carnival. In fact, you know what? I think I just stumbled on the great source of prognostication used by the Farmers’ Almanac. They’re not monitoring bird nests and squirrel behavior, they’re simply calculating their predictions based on Smokey’s Greater Rain Machine!
I’m rich!
I knew old uncle/cousin/mother Edward would come through sooner or later.
And I quote verbatim, bad punctuation, bad spacing and all:
“I am Barrister Roy Charles I am contacting you regarding the death of my client late Mr. Edward LaFlamme, who left behind the sum of (US$6.5 million dollars) in the bank. After unsuccessful attempts to trace any of his relatives, I decided to contact you based on the fact that you bear the same last name with my deceased client.For details,please Get Back to me on this Email for the proceeding.”
Maine man arrested in California after barefoot chase
Holy crap, that’s a long chase. Most of us get caught before we reach the Mississippi.
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