ANSWER:

“I Live With Four Men”

I get up with Charley Horse

I spend a good deal of time with Will Power

And in evenings sit with Arthur Itis

I go to bed with “Ben Gay”

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— Author Unknown

“Seniors Are a Treasure”

Remember, old folks are worth a fortune,

With silver in their hair, gold in their teeth,

Stones in their kidneys, lead in their feet,

And gas in their stomachs.

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I have become older since I last saw you

And a few changes have come into my life.

Frankly, I have become quite a frivolous old gal …

I am seeing five gentlemen every day.

As soon as I wake up,

Will Power helps me out of bed,

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After which I go to see John.

Later Charlie Horse comes along

And he takes a lot of my time and attention.

After that Arthur Ritis shows up

And stays the rest of the day.

He doesn’t like to stay in one place very long,

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So he takes me from joint to joint.

After such a busy day I’m really tired

And glad to go to bed with Ben Gay.

What a life!

–Author Unknown

“The Monkey’s Disgrace”

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Three monkeys sat in a coconut tree

Discussing things as they’re said to be.

Said one to another, “Now listen, you two,

There’s a certain rumor that cannot be true,

That man descends from our noble race —

The very idea is a disgrace.

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No monkey ever deserted his wife,

Starved her babies and ruined her life;

And you’ve never known a mother monk

To leave her babies with others to bunk,

Or pass them on from one to another

Til they scarcely know who is their mother.

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And another thing you’ll never see —

A monk build a fence around a coconut tree

And let the coconuts go to waste,

Forbidding all other monks to taste.

Why, if I put a fence around this tree,

Starvation would force you to steal from me.

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Here’s another thing a monk won’t do —

Go out at night and get on a stew,

Or use a gun or club or knife

To take some other monkey’s life;

Yes, Man Descended — That ornery cuss —

But, brother, he didn’t descend from us!”

— Author Unknown

DEAR SUN SPOTS: The Auburn United Methodist Church is asking your readers for donations of any musical instruments that can be reused. We plan to give these musical instruments to young musicians in need or donate them to the local school’s music department. If you have any guitars, woodwinds, keyboards, percussion, brass or stringed instruments or equipment that you are not using that can be rehabilitated and used in the community, please contact the Church office at 207-782-3972 or 207-783-5269.

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