Not many people know this, because of a shameful lack of media coverage, but on Saturday, a professional boxer named Floyd Mayweather Jr. squared off against mixed martial artist stud Conor McGregor in a fight that had been foretold in ancient prophecy.
It was billed as “The Biggest Fight in Combat Sports History,” and in spite of the pitiful lack of media coverage, word of the supersecret bout began getting around on social media.
Most notably, on Facebook, countless men and women who had never heard of either fighter nonetheless expressed a crack-cocaine level craving for the pay-per-view event. Many of them expressed their desires in ALL CAPITAL LETTERS, which is the Facebook equivalent of a hard left uppercut to the eyeballs.
“IF I DON’T GET TO SEE WHAT’S-HIS-NAME TAKE ON THAT GUY WITH THE BEARD IN SOME SORT OF ATHLETIC CONTEST, LIFE ISN’T WORTH LIVING!”
This began around noon Saturday and by the supper hour, content not related to the McGregor-Mayweather fight was disallowed on Facebook. Every thread there and on Facebook’s skinny cousin Twitter was dedicated to the fight. The discourse included: A. people bragging about how they had already ponied up 100 clams to watch the fight; B. people offering to sell their own organs for an opportunity to see it; and C. people offering to sell the organs of others.
You have to envy the people tasked with promoting events these days. Instead of paying for expensive television advertising, one only has to chum the waters of social media, dangling the event in question so salaciously, the average Facebook user will come to believe that his entire social standing hinges on whether or not he partakes. It doesn’t matter if it’s a boxing match, the season premiere of “The Walking Dead” or the still-inexplicable Ice Bucket Challenge. If you post it, they will come.
By late afternoon Saturday, it was largely accepted that if you were unwilling to spend a hundred bucks on THE BIG EVENT, then you clearly hated America.
I was one of those who really, really wanted to see this fight. And I wanted to talk about it. The problem was, there was almost no discussion of the fight itself to be found once the Facebook hysteria got underway. There were only loud debates about where to watch it, how to watch it and who was going to watch it the hardest.
Those of us who wanted to engage in earnest analysis of the fight were chased off social media and forced to retreat to the seedy underworld of the YouTube comment section.
Have you ever been to the YouTube comment section? Picture the dark, litter-strewn alleys of “Escape from New York” where the world’s most deranged madmen conduct their malevolent business. The YouTube comment section is 50 times worse than that.
In those threads, boxing purists would offer astute predictions of the event to come such as: “While McGregor’s style and size advantages may present some challenges, I expect that Mayweather will spend the early rounds sizing up his opponent before capitalizing on the various weaknesses found therein. Look for Mayweather to win by a technical knockout in the middle or late rounds, depending on how long he chooses to carry his overmatched foe.”
Whereas McGregor fans tended to make more concise predictions, most of them involved Mayweather’s various body parts flying off into the audience due to the sheer punching power of the Irishman. And if you had the temerity to argue these points, they would challenge you to a YouTube comment section fight on the spot.
An interesting thing about the prefight clamor to watch “The Biggest Fight in Combat Sports History” on Saturday: when it was finally fight time, many of those who had clamored the hardest were more or less indifferent about the boxing at hand.
“Undercard fights? What the hell are undercard fights?”
Even when Mayweather and McGregor finally stepped into the ring to do their bloody work, buyer’s remorse was heavy for those who somehow overlooked the fact that this was to be a boxing match with the usual boxing rules.
“Why are they wearing those pillows on their hands? How come the ref keeps breaking them up? Are you telling me there are no weapons allowed in this game? Boxing is stupid. I can’t believe anyone would pay for this.”
The whole scene reminded me of the jaw-cracking, spit-flying days of Mike Tyson, when pseudo fight fans would pay beaucoup bucks for the show and then complain all night after Tyson knocked his opponent to the mat while the opening bell was still echoing across the arena.
It’s all good, though. Those of us who wanted to see the brawler battle the defensive wizard Saturday night got to see 10 quality rounds of it. Those who simply wanted to be a part of The Big Event got a solid Saturday night out of it, provided they were willing to part with a spleen to pay for it.
Ain’t nothing new about hyped sporting events. The prefight hysteria that blazed across social media Saturday afternoon is the modern equivalent of gladiator fights in the Roman empire, which were offered up to distract the populace from the unhappy fact that they were living in an age before Facebook.
I’m just glad everybody’s happy. I’m glad that Mayweather defended the reputation of classic boxing. I’m glad I know somebody who fell so hard for the hype, she paid for the whole shebang, and I didn’t have to part with any of my innards to watch.
Mark LaFlamme is a Sun Journal staff writer who never pulls punches (in print). Email him at mlaflamme@sunjournal.com.
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