Paranoia is a very common mental disorder, and political conspiracy fevers are its most conspicuous symptoms. The only people reliably immune to conspiracy theorizing are those who put their faith in human stupidity as the default explanation for human disaster. It’s easy to see the appeal of theories which trace all our ills to the Illuminati, the Elders of Zion, the Transnational Freemasons, the Armenian Diaspora, etc. It can be comforting to believe your life is controlled by the diabolical intelligence of a small evil elite rather than millions of dimwits.

These general observations lead me to the point of the column: the life and death of Jeffrey Epstein have laid the groundwork for a stupendous explosion of competing conspiracy theories. It provides all the elements needed to create vile, vast, mysterious, endlessly ramified stories.

Pay attention to the plural form, there are fishy, smelly, shadowy details enough for dozens of competing theories. Doesn’t matter how many. They can all coexist, depending of the market niche they fill. Those separate niches are determined by who the Believers want to see targeted.

Sunday’s New York Times (Aug. 18) devoted a full page to describing the last days of Jeffrey Epstein. Read it and you will see a long list of witnesses and actors that show up in those few days. The NYT journalists proposed no conspiracy, but that doesn’t matter. They provide a lengthy list of “suspects” and that’s enough. We can always rely on the theorists provide the names of suspects. The more suspects the more they like it. This is paradoxical in terms of the rules for jury trial; defense lawyers always love alternative suspects. These rule don’t govern conspiracy theorizing.

Conspiracy theorizing resembles board games, the more pieces in the game, the more exciting they are. Let’s count what the theorists have to work with right now, just for starters. For prime movers we have Hillary and Donald. Hillary-haters have already built an impressive list of assassinations she ordered, for either self-protection or revenge. And we have photos of Bill, Hillary and Donald sharing happy moments Jeff. Bill kept company with America’s foremost pederast on multiple occasions, his sexual indulgences are a matter of record. What happy moments did Jeff share with Bill apart from the ones already on the public record?

The Donald’s dedication to self-indulgence is no secret (it has been on public display for years) and it has included sexual indulgences (also on display). He says he broke off relations with Jeff years ago. Wouldn’t he be more at ease if his old pal was no longer alive to contradict him?

Silencing witnesses, always a big part of conspiracies. Remember that familiar axiom of political scandal, “the cover-up is more damaging than the crime being covered up.” The NYT article provides a list involved in the Arch-Pederast’s final days. The reporters. It tells us, gathered their information from “dozens … of interviews with law enforcement officials, Bureau of Prisons employees, lawyers and others.” Almost all of their interviewees “spoke only on condition of anonymity.” We may think of these dozens as witnesses, the conspiracists see dozens of accomplices, and/or persons who will have to be eliminated. Their anonymity won’t save them. The conspiracy sniffers study future obituary columns with tireless vigilance. Every death will be chalked up on their assassination list.

We can only skim the surface in the space available in a newspaper column. The dozens of books that ambitious authors will spin out of the mass of material will provide the rest. The financial machinations of the deceased remain mysterious. The mob of celebrities he collected will come under suspicion of sexual hanky-panky and whatever; Maine’s George Mitchell just for example. I might like to believe it, but I don’t. Doesn’t matter. A bit of Epstein slime has brushed against him and the conspiracy mongers will never let it go.

John Frary of Farmington, the GOP candidate for U.S. Congress in 2008, is a retired history professor, an emeritus Board Member of Maine Taxpayers United, a Maine Citizen’s Coalition Board member, and publisher of FraryHomeCompanion.com. He can be reached at jfrary8070

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