To the Editor:

Despite being on the opposite perspective from the Paris residents who signed the petition to recall their school board members, I do understand a parent wanting to know about what is happening in their child’s life.

When my eldest child was 14, they came out to their teachers before they came out to my partner and I. We fancied ourselves supportive of the LGBTQ community, but our child still worried about coming out to us as transgender, but with support from their teachers, they did. Their administrator helped them make a plan, and the day they told us, they had educators by their side providing support and safety. Every day since, I have tried to be the parent they know accepts them for who they are and how they were made, without question.

Was I upset they kept this secret and came out to someone else first? Sure, but I was upset at myself for not being the parent they felt safe to come out to. I was more thankful there was someone for them to talk with and feel seen, because I shed tears thinking about them feeling alone with the thoughts of not being accepted. My suggestion to those Paris parents who signed the petition – If you don’t want your child to keep secrets from you, then be the parent your child knows will love and accept them for who they are, no matter what. Be the parent they know will stand beside them when ignorant people ridicule them and persecute them. Be the parent who reads and understands how our scientific and medical understanding of gender has expanded over the past century. Be the parent who has empathy for those experiencing gender dysphoria, and understand supporting a child in that time of transition is essential to their becoming a productive member of our society.

Heather Bell

Norway

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