Most of the time the most difficult part of writing a weekly column about words is simply coming up with a suitable topic. But sometimes the confluence of some random occurrences flows my way and gives me an idea – this week is one of those times.
First, I recently received an automated scam phone call in which an obviously machine-generated voice asked me “Grandfather is that you?” When I asked who it was, the machine paused for a split second while it formulated the response, “Who does it sound like?” The call lasted for a couple more questions and AI-generated responses before I told the computer to go do something that not even a human could actually do to himself and hung up. More on this later.
Next there was a piece in this newspaper that explained some of the euphemisms (or “lexical innovations”) younger people are using to evade some of the digital rules they might encounter. A couple of these terms are “unalive” when talking about a death by suicide or homicide and “mascara” as a stand-in for sexual assault.
The article started me thinking about other euphemisms and neologisms (newly coined words) younger people might be using. A little research led me to the results of a recent contest conducted by The New York Times Learning Network in which students were challenged to invent a word, use it in a clear example sentence and state a compelling reason why that word should exist.
Words awarded as runners-up in the contest included “covect,” which is “a lasting effect of the COVID-19 restrictions and lockdowns,” and “decornomen,” a common name whose spelling is modified for stylistic effect.
If you’ve ever accidentally shared a social media post, email or text then you had a “draftident,” which may be entertaining and funny at first but eventually becomes tiring and draining – in other words, “enterdraining.”
Have you ever pretended to be a professional in a certain field, especially in an anonymous setting? If so, then you’re guilty of the crime of “improffing.” Or maybe you just “telefeign” by taking advantage of unclear circumstances caused by long distance between people in order to deceive someone. If you sometimes engage in either of these behaviors, could it be because you’re “polifickle” (switching political views often and without commitment)?
Honorable mentions went to words such as “lavid,” which is defined as “lagging behind the age-appropriate, pre-pandemic academic and/or social skills due to COVID-19.” Another age-related word that made the cut is “agemorphic,” which refers to someone who appears to be significantly older or younger than they actually are.
You can spot someone suffering from “trendxiety,” the fear of not keeping up with today’s fast-cycling trends, by tracking how many TikTok videos they watch in a day, and by which ones they consider “foodio,” video worth watching while they eat.
I just hope they don’t become “hatenotized” (influenced by others to dislike someone or something) by the “opinionopoly,” a few powerful voices that dominate social discourse, drowning out alternative perspectives and establishing a monopoly on public opinion.
The contest’s winning entry, which also happens to bring us back to my brief, frustrating telephone session with a machine, is “synswer,” which was submitted by Miller Roberts of Austin, Texas, and is defined as “a reply generated synthetically by a machine responding to a question, statement or request.” Out of the mouths of babes.
Jim Witherell of Lewiston is a writer and lover of words whose work includes “L.L. Bean: The Man and His Company” and “Ed Muskie: Made in Maine.” He can be reached at jlwitherell19@gmail.com.
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