DEAR ABBY: My young daughter is the half-sister of a famous athlete’s wife. They were married last year and invited my daughter. A week later they DISinvited her! There is a 20-year gap in their ages, but my daughter looks up to her half-sister. My daughter’s feelings were really hurt. My feelings may have been even more hurt. All of her other siblings were there, as well as several other family members.

We were never told why my daughter was disinvited. Her father did not stand up to his older daughter for breaking his younger daughter’s heart. My daughter is getting older, and she knows who her brother-in-law is when she sees him on TV. How can I stop being angry at these people for hurting my baby? — FURIOUS MAMA IN MICHIGAN

DEAR MAMA: You stated there is a 20-year age gap between your daughter and the bride. Is it possible that the bride and her famous fiance had concerns about someone so young (7, 8, 9?) at their high-profile wedding? Before your resentment continues to build, try having a rational conversation with your daughter’s half-sister so you fully understand the circumstances. While I do not support disinviting someone from a celebration, it’s possible that the invitation was sent in error.

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DEAR ABBY: My son, who is 32, moved back home six months ago. He’s a college graduate with a degree in business, which he has never used. He works as a valet at a well-known golf and spa resort. He has no health insurance and stays in his room a lot playing video games. How can I help him find himself? — KID’S MOM IN FLORIDA

DEAR MOM: Is your son suffering from depression or some other emotional problem? Is he at least paying rent? If the answer to that question is no, help your son “find himself” by encouraging him to become independent and by refusing to continue allowing him to avoid accepting responsibility for himself by hiding in his room playing video games. Start now, or you will be writing me in another 10 years with this same issue.

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DEAR ABBY: For his 60th birthday, my niece gave her brother a handmade quilt of pictures of their paternal grandmother and her second husband. There was not one picture of his maternal grandparents, who practically raised them. Their mother (my sister) argued with me that I was wrong to question why our parents were excluded. I would love to know your opinion. — WONDERING IN THE EAST

DEAR WONDERING: I am glad you asked. This was none of your business, and you should have stayed out of it. Although you are entitled to your feelings, your niece gave her brother a gift from the heart, which took time and effort to create. You were wrong to criticize. If you feel she left some relatives out, create a family album for your nephew and give it to him.

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS and getting along with peers and parents is in “What Every Teen Should Know.” Send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $8 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)

(EDITORS: If you have editorial questions, please contact Clint Hooker, chooker@amuniversal.com.)

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