DEAR ABBY: I’m a few months pregnant and married to a man I love with all my heart. We have a young son together. For the last couple of months, I have had severe morning sickness, and my husband seems to resent me for it. He complains that I “don’t do anything anymore,” but I have been so ill that some days it’s all I can do to get to work in the morning. I try to help out as much as I can, but it doesn’t seem to be enough.
Lately he has shown no interest in me or the pregnancy. He won’t go with me to doctors’ appointments, no longer asks me about them, and refuses even to discuss possible names for our new baby. I have been to the emergency room twice — once for dehydration and another time for a car accident. He showed up only after I begged him to come because I was scared. When my mom showed up, he couldn’t get out of there fast enough.
He has been very secretive with his phone lately and has been working longer and later hours than usual. I don’t know what to do. I’m scared that he doesn’t want me anymore. Am I being a hormonal, paranoid wreck, or is something bad going on here? — EMOTIONAL MESS IN OHIO
DEAR EMOTIONAL MESS: You need to confront your husband with that question. His behavior is the opposite of supportive. Whether it is because he is immature or because he is seeing someone else is anybody’s guess. But a change of behavior this drastic on so many levels is certainly cause for concern — and pretending you don’t notice won’t fix whatever is going on.
DEAR ABBY: My wife has children and two grandchildren from a previous marriage. Her granddaughter, “Jasmine,” is 19. We were never close to her or her mother, but we tried to heal old wounds a few years ago.
Once Jasmine turned 17 she started getting tattoos. She now has them all over her body — thighs, chest, stomach. She has a full sleeve on one arm and a half-sleeve on the other. She has piercings in her ear lobes and has pierced her nipples.
At this point, I don’t want her in my house and neither does my wife. I don’t want to be seen with her in public, and because her mother allowed her to do this, I would rather cut all ties with them. My wife agrees. I don’t see us changing our minds. Your opinion, Abby? — GROUCHY TEXAN
DEAR TEXAN: I am glad you asked, because it appears you and your wife have forgotten that underneath those tattoos and piercings is a GRANDCHILD. I understand her body “art” may be off-putting, but I’m disappointed that nowhere in your letter did you express what kind of person Jasmine is.
I’m sure that like most people, she has more to offer than what’s on the surface. She may be a sensitive, loving, caring, talented and intelligent individual who would love a relationship with you and her grandmother, and be deeply hurt by the sentiments you have expressed. That said, unless you can look deeper and get to know and love Jasmine for the person she is, it would be better for her to avoid such shallow individuals as the two of you.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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