AUBURN — Casey Knight and Peter Floyd were drawn to one line next to Nastya’s smiling picture: Peers at the orphanage told her she’d never find a home because she looked like a boy.

When the Auburn couple read that, there were only 48 hours left for American volunteers to agree to host an orphan from Ukraine for a long visit over Christmas. Fifteen-year-old Nastya hadn’t been picked and had never been picked.

They quickly agreed to host her — then did so much more. When they discovered Nastya would turn 16 during her three-week visit, they moved their wedding date up and took out adoption papers.

Adoptions in the Ukraine have to be initiated before a child turns 16 and couples have to be married. They could back out after meeting her, if they wanted, but if she turned 16 and they didn’t try, they’d never have the chance again.

Her Maine visit wasn’t picture-perfect. There was a language barrier, a cultural barrier and she had never lived with a family before.

But she found home.

Knight and Floyd started the next step in the adoption in January. They hope to have her here — permanently — by June.

“It’s big, but where do we get in life when we do just small things and things without bravery?” said Knight, 39. “All the good things happen when you really put yourself out there.”

They’re trying to raise $50,000 for the adoption, to create an extra bedroom in their house and for anticipated medical and dental bills. They’ve raised $12,000 so far.

Nastya (pronounced Nas-tee-ya) has lived in the orphanage her entire life, Knight said. Her mother wasn’t able to raise her. A brief reunion when she was younger didn’t work and Nastya found herself back in the orphanage again.

She has closely-cropped brown hair and wears boys’ clothes. It was comments next to her picture online that first caught their attention.

“There was literally something that said she won’t be hosted because she doesn’t look like a girl,” said Floyd, 45. “It was like taunting.” 

The trips to America during the summer and over the holidays are meant as vacation-like breaks from the orphanage. Knight said she began researching the group setting up the trips, Host Ukraine, and was stunned to see what lay ahead for the kids once they aged out of the orphanage system at 16.

“The statistics that I found were absolutely gruesome,” she said. “Orphans there, 60 percent of the girls, are trafficked for prostitution, pornography and organs. Somebody asked me, ‘What do they do after they donate their organs?’ and I wanted to shake the person. They’re not donating their organs; they’re dead! Fifteen percent on top of that commit suicide within two years.

“Fifty percent of the girls — the not-dead girls — end up pregnant,” Knight said. “Seventy percent of the boys end up incarcerated; this is all within two years (of aging out of system.) You’ve got kids and you’re reading this and it’s like, ‘Holy …’ We were both crying. How do we not do this?”

Knight said sons Birch, 13, Attigan, 12, and Rain, 9, were cautiously open to the idea.

When Knight and Floyd met her in the Fielder’s Choice parking lot after midnight on Dec. 16 with 20 other Ukrainian orphans visiting local families, Nastya seemed tiny, scared and brave, Knight said.

“She looked like the little boy I expected her to look like,” she said.

Back at their house, she quickly gifted the couple with a bank shaped like a black velvety cat wearing a sweet heart-shaped necklace.

They gave her a list of house rules, basics like please knock when the bathroom door is closed, that highlighted the first of many language challenges. They’d run it through an online Ukrainian translator and Nastya indicated something didn’t make sense.

“We ended up translating it back (through a different translation service and one rule read), ‘Please put the toilet paper in the toilet to be cleaned,'” Knight said. “No wonder she looked so (confused.)”

Eating became another hurdle. She’d worry each night about not having enough food the next morning.

“Her culture is, in part, not having food available,” Knight said. “She would eat 11 pieces of fruit in a day. For one meal, she had me buy these huge, huge hot dogs and she had four of those hot dogs and five eggs one morning for breakfast.”

They began assuring her at night: The cupboards and fridge would still be full in the morning.

A week into her stay, Nastya wrote Knight through a translation app, “Will you adopt?”

They were under strict directions from the hosting group not to talk about heavy topics like adoption. And the couple knew they couldn’t decide anything until after they talked to the boys.

“I pretended like it didn’t translate,” Knight said. “She knew she’s aging out and scared to be on the street. She’s a tomboy, gender nonconforming in a country where gay, LGBTQ is not OK and there’s not a single law to protect from hate crime. So on top of all the other statistics, she has that against her.

“We asked her some questions and she said, ‘If you gay’ (and then mimed punches),” she said.

The family had a nice Christmas and Hanukkah with Nastya and celebrated her 16th birthday with a party at the Rollodrome. With her spotty schooling and basic level of care, they estimate her social and maturity age closer to 12.

She called Knight “Ma” and Floyd by his first name. The couple had mixed emotions on the drive back from the airport last month. It had been stressful but also promising. 

“(The boys) brought it up at dinner that night,” Knight said. “Birch said, ‘I think we should adopt her.'”

Paperwork for the adoption, with Homeland Security filings, background checks, a home study and more has been “a full-time and a half-job,” she said.

Both Knight and Floyd are self-employed. She expects to make two to three trips to Ukraine this winter and spring.

As the news has sunk in, the couple said Nastya’s been practicing her English.

“She’s doing well; she’s excited,” Knight said. “She said one of the last times we talked, ‘Ma, you come now, you come in two days.'”

Next Thursday, Feb. 23, Ben’s Burritos is donating a portion of its sales from 5 to 8 p.m. to the adoption effort, along with having a silent auction that evening. Knight has been selling crafts and friends have reached out with donations. They also have a “Bring Nastya Home” page on GiveForward.com. 

There were lots of what-ifs, and still are, but that’s OK, Floyd said.

“I think it’s a great opportunity to open a door, give her an opportunity,” he said. “And for us, it’s broadening who we are and sharing our gifts and the gifts of our community.”

kskelton@sunjournal.com 

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