By definition, billet families are a function of the Lewiston MAINEiacs team. In reality, they are the beating heart of the team – the families who open the doors of their homes and hearts to welcome other people’s kids for safekeeping.
The expectations of the billet family programs are clear from the beginning. Once a player is placed in a billet family’s home, he is not necessarily there to stay for the duration of the training camp or the season.
“Remember,” smiled team General Manager, Norm Gosselin, at an initial billet family meeting at the Fireside Inn earlier this summer. “These players are not for you to keep.” He continued by defining a variety of instances whereby a player might be saying good-bye almost as soon as he says hello.
Cuts during training camp or exhibition games, injuries and call-ups to the NHL are among the reasons for a player moving on. For professional hockey players, it’s all part of the job. Consequently, billet families recognize letting go as part of the responsibilities of their job. Still, when you combine great kids with loving families, bonds form quickly, and the heart knows not what the head clearly understands.
“He was the perfect match for our family,” says Donna Racine of Dave Ghaleb, the first player assigned to their home. “I know what they told us in the meetings, but Dave was such a great kid. We couldn’t help but get attached.” Ghaleb was temporarily matched with the Racines until the completion of training camp and several exhibition games. He was one of the last cuts and returned home with his parents three days after meeting his billet family.
Donna laughs remembering the first day Dave came home with them.
“He said, ‘I’m going to go visiting.’ Then he took off, exploring the house, looking at everything, even stretching out on the sofa. He was so personable; he fit right in.”
During the few days Dave resided with them, the Racines met Dave’s parents, learned that he liked to play Monopoly, that his big dream was to attend the NHL training camp, and that when his hockey days were done, he wanted to become a policeman. According to Donna, she, her husband John, and their son Zac, formed a bond quickly, and the experience was so positive, it was difficult to say good-bye when the time came.
“I saw Zac’s eyes start to tear up and then I started to cry. Then Dave’s mother started,” admits Donna. Dave’s parents, who were at the Racines home to pick him up, said they thought he was particularly upset to be leaving his billet family.
For Billet Family Coordinators Ron Guerin and Renee Bernier, making the calls informing a billet family that their player would be leaving was particularly difficult. “We’ve gotten to know all these people. This is a great bunch of kids and families, and the billet families really understand their role as a function of the team. They support the team and the organization’s decisions 100%. Both Renee and I agree that there isn’t one family with whom we wouldn’t be willing to leave our own children. They have made our jobs as coordinators much, much easier.”
With reservations about whether or not they wanted to continue in the billet program, John and Donna, along with all the other billet parents, attended another meeting with the hockey organization on the Monday following Ghaleb’s return home “After losing Dave, I didn’t think I wanted to do this,” says John. Both he and Donna were concerned about whether their next player would be as well matched as Dave had been.
The players had been residing with their billet families for several days prior to the meeting and the evening presented an opportunity to talk with coach, Mario Durocher, review his rules for the team, ask more questions, and clarify expectations. During this meeting, the Racines and other billet families who had had players leave were given the names of their new billet sons.
“Some families had agreed to take two players into their homes during training camp to help us out, knowing that once cuts were made, one of the players would move to another household,” explains Guerin. “Once new assignments were given, the families and their players decided how to coordinate the moves between them.” He chuckles and adds, “Some of the families, who had agreed to take two players temporarily, really enjoyed having them and wanted to keep , but our goal is to place one player per family except in the event when an ideal situation for accommodating two players presents itself.”
Among those households with two players was Brian and Pamela Kay of Lewiston. The Kays were a veteran host family having housed kids from Up With People eight times and having welcomed four Japanese students from various exchange programs over the years. They understood exactly how the Racines were feeling.
“We know what it is to have to say good-bye. Even though you know the time will come, you’re never quite prepared and the bonds you form with these kids can never be replaced,” explains Pamela.
The Kays served as billet parents for both Ryan Murphy, 18, of Fredericton, New Brunswick and Pierre-Luc Faubert, 17, of Riquad, Quebec. Within days of having both young men in their home, Pamela contacted the Billet coordinators to let them know they would be happy to continue to host both players.
“They told us they would need to be making some changes and we understood. When the time came to do some shuffling of players, we were glad that we did not have to make the decision. The organization, using their own criteria, made the appropriate re-assignments.”
On the following Wednesday after practice, Ryan joined the Racines in their home. Although he was comfortable living with the Kays, he warmed quickly to the Racines and they to him.
“We stayed up late that night just talking and getting to know one another,” says John.
Ryan and the Racines quickly discovered many things they shared in common. For instance, Ryan had a 13 year-old brother at home and his billet brother, Zac, was the same age. His father had been a goalie, just as John had been, and both his father and John were managers of a grocery.
Donna was impressed with Ryan’s dedication to his game and his dream of the NHL but, more importantly, she admired his ability to set long-term goals.
“Ryan is working together with his parents and agent to make sure he has enough money set aside to complete his college education when he is done with hockey. He wants to be an accountant.”
As for Zac, he just likes the fact that Ryan enjoys the WWE Smack Down and playing video games. “It’s cool,” he adds.
Ryan’s mom, who had developed a good rapport with the Kays, has already begun bonding with the Racines as well. According to Donna and John, she has called several times just to talk and get to know one another. Clearly pleased, they smile recalling one conversation. “She told us how Ryan had shared with her how happy he was here.”
With all the shuffling and players being on the road, the Racines admit feeling a little behind with their bonding. John says he contacted Ryan’s mom just to find out about his favorite foods. Moreover, they’re making plans to attend a Red Sox game (another commonality) when time permits, visit the coast, and enjoy a celebration dinner in honor of Zac’s upcoming birthday and Ryan’s success thus far with the team.
The common theme among billet families remains the richness of the bonds so quickly forged with these young men described as “polite, respectful, goal-oriented and driven.” Families like the Kays and the Racines, who are already putting together scrapbooks and keepsakes for the players and their families at home, admit to learning more than they ever knew about other cultures, the game of hockey, chasing dreams and making sacrifices.
The players, too, recognize the sacrifices their billet families make for them.
“I want to thank all the billet families for the sacrifices they make taking us into their homes, working us into their lives,” says Pierre-Luc, the Kays’ billet son. “It takes a lot of time and work. My billet family is really great, and I know, having talked to the other players, they feel the same about their families.”
Indeed, building relationships, making family of strangers, and embracing new cultures takes work, commitment. For the billet families it also means running the risk of caring for someone then having to let go. Even after losing their first billet son, the Racines agree it is a risk worth taking.
“We want to do this again next year, if they’ll have us. If Ryan returns to the team, we’ll have him stay with us again. If Dave comes back, we want him too! To any families on the fence about becoming a part of the Billet program, I say, ‘Just go ahead and do it.’ It’s a great experience.”
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